Ballad of a writer

     Become a writer, they said. It would be fun, they said. They didn't mention that writing turns you into a complete monster. Enjoy those waves of creativity before bed? How about at 1 AM when you have a sudden brain implosion and you simply can't sleep until you open up this floodgate of words? So then I decide to cave in and get my iPod. After recovering from temporary blindness, I make a note to change my brightness settings and open up notes. Then it's time to stare blankly at the screen for the next fifteen minutes. And this is where the monster part comes in.
     Ever written an outline for a research paper? Or attempted to classify animals or plants? If you try to understand my brain, a scientist would do it this way. It starts with 1) A Generic Thing. This could be anything I choose to write about, like maybe writing. (yes, I write about writing.) But before moving on to number two, you realize that A Generic Thing has a few things to be mentioned. So then you have, A) A Generic Thing's First Complication. B) A Generic Thing's Second Complication, and C) A Generic Thing's Third Complication. Then suddenly realize when you're all the way down the list at Z) A Generic Thing's Twenty-Sixth Complication, you look back and realize that Q) A Generic Thing's Seventeenth Complication has some extra little buddies that need to be discussed. Then you have things like A.1) A Generic Thing's Seventeenth Complication's Extra Complication Number One, until you run out of letters and numbers you can actually spell. Finally, if you're lucky, you may have a neat little equation that belongs in the back of a trigonometry book.
     Now that you have it in perspective, try to understand that I like to write free-verse poems about complicated topics that I soon realize can't be described in words. And I have a fear of forgetting things (even though I never do) so when I want to write, I do it. NOW. Even if it's 3 AM. So take all of this and multiply it times forty-seven, then add school, sleep, social life, any life at all, and writer's block.
      If you weren't fully convinced I'm insane, now you know. 

A random post about Thanksgiving

Warning: I've concluded that if you're not me, this post won't make much sense. I guess this post won't make sense, then.
     Let me start by saying that I really love Thanksgiving. Stuffing my face until I'm sure I'm not going to eat again until Christmas. I love finally listening to Christmas music (even though I have already been since October). It's pretty nice that my cousins and I sit at the table arguing and playing word games instead of awkwardly listing what we're thankful for. Everyone uses the same thing, anyway. Family. Pets. Food.
     I have to say though, I hate that flood of emails and commercials that all protest about something along the lines of turkey annihilation. It's worse than the Chick-fil-a cow. The most annoying of all are the people who try to be funny and wish me a Happy Turkey Day, which comes in comparison to how much I hate pumpkin pie and potato skins.
      The best thing that I can think of right now, though, is the break from school. I'm homeschooled, so I don't get many days off. If I can do school, I have to do school. I don't want to think about Chiang Kai-shek and the Chinese Nationalists saving Taiwan from communism or Escribe el pronombre y la forma del verbo que corresponden a la persona again until Monday. Not only that, I need a break from incessant piano playing for lack of something better to do or guilt on Saturday because I'm playing video games and not living in the woods making a log cabin or something.
     Another bonus: reading The Hobbit and Robin Hood for eight hours in the car tomorrow morning.
     So this Thanksgiving, remember. Turkeys were created for us to enjoy. But don't carelessly say "Happy Turkey Day!" to me. Because I will smack you.

Nine things that make me laugh.

1) Wombats
2) Winning arguments when I know more about biology than the person I'm fighting with does.
3) Emails that claim I'm gonna die tomorrow night AND have bad luck for seven years if I don't forward.
4) Trying to explain facebook to an adult.
5) Trying to explain my frequent injuries. (I jumped off a ladder and broke my finger. I hit my eye on a microscope and got a black eye.)
6) Justin Bieber.
7) Getting in the way when my best friend is hanging out with her boyfriend.
8) When my dog sneezes.
9) People's reaction when I claim I've never seen the Dark Knight Rises.

cell phones

Top Seven Reasons Why I Hate Cell Phones
1. I always loose mine.
2. I always leave it upstairs and it gets lost under my bed, then someone texts me and yells at me for not answering.
3. Touch screen means typos, which makes you ether loko liek anidiot or makes you say something you totally didn't intend to say, making me want to throw the thing out the window (but then I'd get yelled at again for not responding)
4. Not everyone checks their phone, which makes it an unreliable source of communication. So if I want to tell someone to meet me somewhere, I can't really know if they're going to reply.
5. People get way too offended too easily. So then you have to put ;) at the end to make sure they know you're kidding, or lol to make sure they know you're not actually yelling at them. If you send something a little too risky, then make sure there's :) at the end. And, no one really laughs out loud when they say lol or is really joking when they say jk.
6. Whenever I go out I feel like I should carry it with me. But the only times you bring it are when no one texts you.
7. Parents never answer their cell phones when you call them for something like "get apple juice at the store" so what if I'm actually dying on the other end? They may not pick up the phone.